Being a mother is tough work. Sometimes you need to sit your kids down and teach them some of life's lessons and this isn't always easy or comfortable. Sometimes, it's impossible not to contradict yourself. You just need to hope that you're raising a kid who has enough common sense to know what's what.

For example. It's important to teach your daughters that they need to love and accept themselves just as they are. That it's what's in the inside that counts. Aww... That's nice.

But you could potentially be doing your daughter a great disservice if you don't casually let her know that some people do need to wear makeup. Very much so. If you've done your job right, like this baby's mother did, she'll come to the right conclusions on her own.

TWINS: two babies, one bone.

That's all for now.

I had a great morning. My dependent and I went to a friends house for breakfast. I also had a great night's sleep and woke up refreshed, ready to face the day. Last week, my silent partner and I went on a date and Spawn spent the night at her Grandmother's and we slept in the next morning.

ALL OF THESE GREAT THINGS ARE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN AFTER BABY B ARRIVES.

Luckily, I'll be able to take up drinking again.

My day so far has been something else.
I got to sleep in until 9:3o and woke up to pancakes and coffee. Then, we went and test drove a... mini van. I know. Who the hell am I?! Since when do I consider 9:30 sleeping in???

ASKING FOR IT

About a third of the way through my second pregnancy, I realized that something wasn't normal. From hearing about other peoples' experiences, I figured out that I was getting an inordinate amount of internal exams at my monthly pre natal visits. Like, every single appointment actually. According to everyone else on the planet, they were only subjected to internals at the end of their pregnancies. What the hell?? I don't get a bad touch vibe from my doctor, so I was left assuming that he was just very thorough. That's good, I guess. Right? Two appointments ago, the internals stopped. Neither of us talked about it. It was like all the other ones never happened. Then, I had an appointment today.
The nurse showed me into the room. She changed the paper on the table. She laid the too-small blanket out and left. It occurred to me that she didn't give me any instructions about what to do; what to take off. I took my boots off and stood there for a minute and all of a sudden, I was struck with the most horrifying realization, maybe of my entire life. SHE NEVER TOLD ME TO UNDRESS BEFORE! I just did it! And I guess, so I wouldn't be uncomfortable, the doctor 'examined' me as I seemed to want him to. Until, two visits ago, I finally realized that she didn't tell me to undress and so I didn't and then it was just a regular visit. It's like if my associate went to the doctors, dropped trou without warning and bent over, and so to be polite, the doctor did a prostate exam. I'm dying.

While waiting in a line tonight, I took advantage of a seat that opened up. I looked around to see if there were any old people who should sit too/instead. I saw one lady that was getting up there. It made me wonder: does pregnant trump old? And what about pregnant and with a toddler? Does that beat old? I guess maybe it's not so black and white. Like, if you have a cane, you're standing. You can lean! That's almost as good as sitting. Me? I've got nothing but dead weight dragging me down (metaphorically speaking).

Praise Jesus.

I past by a Baptist church today and their signage informed me that they have Sunday school at 10am. That's perfect timing. Enough time to wake up, get breakfast, putter around, get Spawn dressed and leave for Sunday school. Now, it's important to note that we're not Baptists. We're not anything, really. I was unknowingly Jewish, habitually Catholic, momentarily Jahova Witness and lived on campus at a school of theology but still, I'm not really anything. But I am a lady who likes to brunch. And who am I to deny my child the joy of knowing the Lord? What's the worst that could happen? It's not like they try to sell prayers to get out of purgatory anymore. I'm sold! Not my soul but on the idea of putting Spawn in free Sunday school! I wonder if they have toddler classes? More importantly, I can just drop her off and go to a coffee shop, right? Ahh, it's not a deal breaker.I'd go to church, if I had to. Kid free time is kid free time, you know?