Wednesday, October 14, 2015

and it burned, burned, burned. the ring of fire. the ring of fire.

In the beginning of my relationship, I used to hide the fact that I pooped from my Associate, convinced even myself that I didn't care about marriage and pretended that I liked walking the long way home. Something changed somewhere between opening a joint bank account and my first episiotomy. Now, I can let it all hang out and what hangs out all over the place is how I want a ring on my finger. The evolution of the ring in our relationship went along these lines:

me: I think marriage is waste of money.
him: I couldn't agree more. We're so perfect for each other. Let's never get married!

me: I just want a ring- as a symbol of our commitment. Just a plain, silver band. Nothing fancy.
him: Umm. O.K. 

me: silver isn't durable. I meant silver looking. I want white gold.
him: (now defeated by years of our love) yeah, ok. Just pick out whatever you like and buy it.

me: I just can't decide! Which one should I get?? I'll show my friends pictures of rings I like and bookmark sites that I love! Wait a minute. What's that??
him: Oh, I found this gold band at Value Village. It fits me perfectly! Anyway, I'm going to work now. Bye! 

me. ringless. marriageless.

Are you kidding me?? He goes from not wanting to get married to voluntarily wearing a ring from an imaginary wedding?! And he wears it everyday! Everywhere! Ooooo. Well played! He may have one the battle but I will win the war! I will marry him and he will put not one, but two rings on my finger! Ha! Hahahahahahaha! Take THAT 'Associate'!

Monday, October 5, 2015

A mother's lullaby

I could go to sleep but then some kid will wake up. So I stay awake, breathlessly waiting for one to wake up. Then I give up and go to bed but I can't sleep because I know. I know they're just waiting for me to let my guard down. Somehow, at some point, I fall asleep. For ten beautiful minutes I sleep. Deeply and soundly. And then someone starts to cry. And that someone is me, as I tear myself out of bed to sooth some child back to sleep. I yearn for the sleep of a thousand nights. You know, death. I'm talking about death.

Friday, October 2, 2015

My eldest Spawn is supposed to be napping but is instead singing 'I've been working on the railroad' on a serious repeat. I find this hard to swallow. We both know that she's never done a day of hard work in her life. 


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