Tuesday, August 11, 2015

fancy pants parenting idea

If you think it sounds like a nice idea to get your toddler out of bed to see a beautiful, complete rainbow: THINK AGAIN. This is probably the universes' way of telling you that it's also not a nice idea to take your kids out of school on a cross country trip to show them the world. Because before you hit the interstate, you realize that you're stuck in a metal cage with nowhere to go and nowhere to sneak off to smoke. I read you, Universe. Loud and clear. I won't be doing anything stupid by trying anymore fancy parenting ideas.

**update: This year's Canada Day fireworks were cancelled minutes after they were supposed to start. There were tears and broken hearts littering the streets along with the usual mini flags. I will never trust again. I will never trust that letting my children stay up hours past their bedtime will be 'worth it'. 

Saturday, August 8, 2015

If I should ever get a ring on my finger and if that ring is on my finger because I'm actually married and then if I pawn that ring because I get a divorce, I know exactly which kid would chose to live with me and which would decide to live with my good-for-nothing-ex.

You might be smarmy because you think all your kids would chose you over their other parent. Good for you. But I can read the writing on the wall and I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. At least I have one kid on my side. Actually, I feel really bad for the kid who picks me. It will be hard to fit in bartending, room service, culinary duties, house cleaning, car washing and landscaping around school work. It's just so much for one child to carry.

Divorce is so sad.


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