For the life of me, I can't understand why pregnant women are so horny to have their babies?? They do realize what happens next, right? What that means? Since this isn't my first rodeo, I know what's coming and I'm scared to death. Sure, I'm excited to see the baby and all of that. But truthfully, my mind can't keep from quickly going to the dark place, you know, "reality".
When you're pregnant for the first time, you might imagine all the wonderful family things you'll do all together or the heartfelt conversations you'll have with your child. You might think something like, "sure, it's going to be hard and not sleeping will be a challenge" but that's the understatement of the century. This time around, I'm trying to be really realistic in my expectations for myself. I have mantras to help relax me when my anxiety levels rise just thinking about those dark hours. You can use them too. Now, if this is your first pregnancy, they might scare you but trust me: you'll be back. You might want to book mark this page so in a month's time you can come back and read them again so you too can repeat them in the middle of the night. And, you're welcome.
- I will not hit myself.
- I will not yell out in unison with the child.
- I will not dole out baby tylenol to bring on sleep, even just enough to turn things down a notch.
- It's ok to pretend to be in a such a deep sleep that my Associate has to wake up and get the child
- I will not try to do it all because I'm not religious enough to qualify for sainthood, so what's the point?
- No matter what hideous and awful stage the baby might be at, I realize that it is temporary and I keep my eye on the prize: summer camp time. Two weeks to a month of the kids at summer camp. I don't care what camp. I don't care the cost.
- You can't spoil a baby. I will do whatever the hell it takes to keep my sanity until it's Ferber Time! Sweet, sweet Ferber time.