Friday, January 1, 2010

There has been a lot of movement in my stomach lately and since I've been told that the baby is currently in a breech position, it got me to thinking: If I should die in childbirth, I have a list of demands.

First, I bequeath my student loan debt to my daughter. I think it's important for her to learn early on that you shouldn't get student loans just to pay a bloated phone bill. I want better for her, you know?
Second, one thing that really stresses me out about my unexpected death is the thought of all my dirty laundry just sitting there, being a gross reminder to everyone that the Domestic Sciences eluded me. I would like it burned. Which brings me to my third request: I don't want to be cremated. Or buried. Instead, I choose to be stuffed. I want to be in all family pictures and at the dinner table for every meal.
I feel these are fair requests and anyone who ignores them can expect a good, old fashioned haunting.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts with Thumbnails