Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Being a Domestic Scientist has its ups and downs.

PRO: I spend my associate’s money. Exclusively. Having no actual income of my own at present.

CON: I have no actual income of my own at present.

Yesterday, I went to a certain department store and I picked out two items that I wanted needed. I handed the twelve year old cashier my silent partner’s credit card and she informed me that there was a ‘boy’s name’ on it. So? I asked. And she told me that she couldn’t put it through because it wasn’t my name and that ‘they’ are really strict about it. The injustice! This is how the exchange should have gone:

twelve year old cashier: This has a boy’s name on it.

me: No. It has a man’s name on it. My husband’s name to be precise (I don’t really need to go into details with her about this point. In this instance, it is convenient for me to give my boyfriend the title for free). I am the mother of both his children, a one year old daughter and one in utero child, gender unknown as of yet. Because of these circumstances I am unemployed and therefore, I need to live off of my husband’s earnings. That is why I am using his credit card. And while I’m not sure if he would approve of this purchase specifically (a very soft and useless blanket to replace a very soft blanket we already own and use), I assure you he is well aware that I am using the credit card. Because, you see twelve year old, when you’re a family, there really isn’t a “your’s” and “mine”, it’s “our’s” because we all make sacrifices for the greater good. Him: his money and credit. Me: my womb and figure. So, I’ll thank you to put the purchase through on the card and refrain from embarrassing other income-less stay-at-home mothers who already struggle with having to ask for money and who have to buy clothes at the grocery store so that purchase is camouflaged amongst the bread and milk. Have a nice day and shouldn’t you be at school?

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