All that luxurious, healthy hair that you get during pregnancy falls out in clumps after your baby is born.
They don't tell you that.
As if you have this lovely hair for the rest of your life. Instead every shower is horrifying and you need to keep drano on standby. There's a metaphor for motherhood in here somewhere. Get over yourself and find your own punch line. I'm too tired from catering to my bazillion kids to piece it together. Do you want me to wipe your ass too?