Since Spawn's penmanship is deplorable, I thought I would write her letter to Santa this year. I'm sure I can guess what she wants anyway. And I've had nearly thirty years to develop a rapport with Santa so it's probably best that I'm her in.
Dear Father Christmas,
I don't need any gifts because I want for nothing. Instead, I wish for things for my mom. Like, a fat old nanny to care for me in the mornings and whenever she wants 'me-time' because time on the toilet doesn't count, apparently. Also, since my mother has been pregnant for the better part of two years, may I suggest some birth control as a nice stocking stuffer? One more kid around is fine but anymore and let's be honest, she might be a flight risk.
Safe travels, Santa!
Spawn
ps: do NOT bring my dad a ps3. It's better that way. How about some hangers for his clothes? It looks as though he does not own any. Just a thought.
So funny! And well put. I'm sure Santa can't say no to that. Good luck!
ReplyDeletethanks! I'm really hoping for hangers!
ReplyDeleteTime to build the Granny Suite and I'll move in to provide that early morning time you so desperately long for... ox The Duchess of Fife
ReplyDelete