The differences between the first pregnancy and the second are astounding. First, it’s a totally different experience in that it is not as all- encompassing as the first time and also I feel sick almost constantly. But more than that are the reactions from people. Family seems barely aware of the new pregnancy most of the time. I feel like I can’t complain or milk it in any way. The first time, people are really excited but the second time people act like you’re in a dysfunctional relationship that you keep going back to over and over again and they’re sick of hearing about it because now you’re just asking for the drama and what the hell did you expect to happen? Maybe that’s my hormones talking.
But the biggest difference is from friends and acquaintances. Sometimes I get a ‘congrats’ on its own but I almost always hear some kind of judgement or questioning of my mental health. To be fair, a cursory glance at my family’s mental health history warrants the questions but somehow I don’t think that’s what everyone’s getting at. I understand when people who don’t have kids think I’m “crazy!” or “insane!” or “completely insane!”’ or “crazy insane!” for having another so soon but I can’t believe how many people with kids say it? Are their kids terrorists? Are they in a dysfunctional relationship? I mean, is it so crazy to have kids 18 months apart? Or is it crazy to wait so long that you’re starting all over again, forgetting the things you managed to do right, and having babies and toddlers for years and years, stretched out so you never feel like you’re out of that phase??
You know what is crazy? Two summers in a row without one mojito.