Le Whine

whine verb, whined, whin·ing, noun


–verb (used without object)

1.

a long, high-pitched complaining cry: the Spawns have been whining all day. I can take no more.

2.     a long, high-pitched complaining sound: the whine of my children was the last sound I heard before I ran toward the light at the end of the tunnel. 

3.    a complaining tone of voice: which is reminiscent of nails on a chalk board. 

4.    a feeble or petulant complaint: a constant whine about the quality of service. 

The last one there, I didn't have to change the example. That one fit perfectly still. 

SAVINGS! SAVINGS! SAVINGS!

In these tough economic times, it is important to cut corners where you can. You can buy a cheaper bottle of wine but you'll only have to drink more, and faster, in order to stop tasting how bad it is. You're better off sticking with your favorite wine and instead save hundreds of dollars by opting not to get winter tires. But don't text and drive!

a is for asshole. b is for butt face. c is for, well. Come on. You're thinking it too.

You have to be really careful when you speak to your young children. You have to choose your words wisely. For example, with swear words you don't want to add such weight to them lest your children decide to use them for attention or as a form of rebellion. That's why I like to keep my swear words 'light', 'sweet' and 'loving'. Like: you are so fucking cute. That is an acceptable use of swearing. I read that in one of the What to Expect book series. Or, I saw it on Oprah. 

Just trust me. 

fuck you too.

As I hear Spawn snoring in the next room over, I'm reminded of a sweet exchange we had a couple of nights ago:

 I tucked her in tightly, kissed her cheek, gently tucked a sweet curl behind her ear and whispered,  "I love you".  With her angelic voice she replied, " I love you. Go to hell."  It's moments like this that make all the sacrifice worth it, you know?

Usually I take a break from writing when I'm feeling really good about my life. So, I'm ready to dive right in.

As I stared at my sleeping baby last night, I thought: this must be what people with dogs feel like?

Easy Breezy

Our lawn is wild. But at this point, it's either the lawn or the kids. And I've already started their education funds*. I don't know how everyone else is staying on top of it all? I'm just going to assume that they're not. Since being efficient is now more important than ever, I got to thinking while I looked at our feral lawn... Wouldn't it be great if I could put Spawn out to graze?? She could a. snack, b. get fresh air/ activity, and c. manage the lawn.
 Someone told me that we used to eat grass and that's why we have some vestigial body part. I can't remember which part? Wisdom teeth? Appendix? Brain?

But I digress. I tried putting Spawn out to pasture: no dice. But BabyB was all over it! She's sooo cooperative. She just lied there and tried to get as much grass in her face as she could. Every once in a while, I just had to rotate her so she didn't get down to the dirt. Being a mother is just too easy sometimes**.

*lies!

**lies!